1. |
Addiction
03:30
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You're asking me to stay
But do you want me here?
You haven't made clear
You haven't
When I try to walk away
I'm overcome with fear
I can't hold back the tears
It's been so many years
You only seem to care
When I'm about to go
That's when you say you know
And you put on your show
We're going nowhere
In this in between
Standing on the seam
Either sew or let it bleed
This isn't love
It's an addiction
Attracted to the friction
Of the constant struggle
Seeing double
Blinded by lust
Thinking it must be true
But it's time I got over you
Just let me know
If you're for real
I can't keep playing games
It's all the same
And I can't feel
The way that I've been feeling
These days
Do you really want me to stay?
Or is it something you say?
You're telling me to stay
That everything's alright
When all we do is fight
Telling me not to walk away
But maybe I am right
I should hold on tight
And move toward the light
You only seem to care
When I am feeling strong
Ready to move on
Singing a different song
I'm going somewhere
Away from in between
Where I can rip the seam
Til there's no more you and me
This isn't love
It's an addiction
Attracted to the friction
Of the constant struggle
Seeing double
Blinded by lust
Thinking it must be true
But it's time I got over you
Just let me know
If you're for real
I can't keep playing games
It's all the same
And I can't feel
The way that I've been feeling
These days
Do you really want me to stay?
Or is it something you say?
It's gonna hurt so bad
But it's only temporary
And I'm gonna be so sad
But I know that life will carry
Me on
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2. |
Pain Body
03:29
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I can't pretend that this is okay
Oh I can't fake another smile
And push the pain away
Lately I haven't been me I've been gutted out
No good explanation for the feelings that come out
And I keep hesitating can't get out of bed
The pain in my heart or the heaviness in my head
Weigh my down and I'm told all I need is time
The hands aren't moving on this clock of mine
Let me shed this pain body and let me be me
I can only say I'm sorry and let you watch me bleed
Til the tears are dry and my mind is returns
With the gift of another harsh lesson learned
I guess it's my turn now
To bury my face
And clench my hands
On my pillow case
Closed the door never open again
No more you and me as family
Lovers or friends
I thought I was better than this heart break mess
But I'm sure I had it coming I must confess
Doesn't it make it any easier to know I'm to blame
Stuck feeling like I'm dying or going insane
Let me shed this pain body and let me be me
I can only say I'm sorry and you can watch me leed
Til the tears are dry and my mind returns
WIth the gift of another harsh lesson learned
I can't pretend that I'm doing okay
But I still know tomorrow is another day
And with each day brings healing
Tween the sun and the moon
I just wish the sweet relief would get here soon
It's all so final
This type of goodbye
No more questions to ask
Or reasons to provide
Nothing to fix
Nothing left to hold on
One day it's so real
And the next day gone
But I'll move on
and inside this pain
The brightest light of peace
Is what will remain
Knowing I will find another
I will love again
But I'm stuck here drowning in the sadness
Waiting for it to end
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3. |
Dexatrim
03:43
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I can't detach
Can't stand where I am
In between a furnace
And the promised land
Like a thirsty ghost
I wake up tasting sand
Reach for a toast
But end with empty hands
Missiles
Explosions
Breaking ear drums
Eyes filled with smoke
But I can't run
So taunted in positive states
Haunted I try to see straight
My plate is untouched
Can't get the food to my face
How can I get hungry?
When my life is Dexatrim
Racing heart and mind
While I grow thin
So many mistakes
All the weakness I've exposed
This is what I chose
This is what I chose
It's hard now to get to where I used to be
This isn't being
It's retreating
To the land of the "un"free
Reaction to faint applause
Self destruction for no cause
Wounds bleed without gauze
Or antiseptic
This impending infection
Blown to personal pandemic
Can't handle rejection
In this apocalyptic epic
Zombie movie
Closed stores rubble
Bruising
Being recycled
Reduce me reuse me
How can I get hungry?
When my life is Dexatrim
Racing heart and mind
While I grow thin
So many mistakes
All the weakness I've exposed
This is what I chose
This is what I chose
It's almost the end
I say it with inflection
I stare in the dirty puddle
And I see no reflection
It's almost the end
I can't find my soul
Hidden like a diamond in a mountain of coal
Feeling dirty and cold
All these years too old
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4. |
Patch Da Holes
03:25
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(Pirate Noises, Whispers etc..."Walk the Plank")
Regretting is the opposite of presence
The surface is so far from the essence
Common sense is so far from truth
Ignorance isn't 1 n 1 with youth
3D is less than reality
Dimensionless is the life we lead
Emotions, time, intangibles,
Destiny
Miracles are created daily
Jumping out at more
Than your eyes and ears
It penetrates touch, taste,
Feelings, fears,
Intuition premonition
Visions and dreams
It's all happening...it's all happening
Outside of my shell
Is it safe?
I can't tell
I really can't tell
Moving fearlessly
From Cowardly Lion
to Leonidas
Rise of power
I can't fight this
Playing through pain
I can right this ship
If we get hit
Let's patch the holes
Here we go and on we roll
Rising and traveling above the water
We stay cool while it gets hotter
The waves they rising
So must we
Lessons that we learn out at sea
Forgetting is the opposite of mindfulness
Want it back but we can't rewind all this
Right now is where we find the mindful bliss
The light that hides behind all of this
Once we might slip
Twice we might slip
Thrice we might slip
We'll still right the ship
If we get hit
Let's patch the holes
Here we go and on we roll
Rising and traveling above the water
We stay cool while it gets hotter
Let's shed our pain bodies
They're not the real us
Underneath
Regretting is the opposite of presence
The surface is so far from the essence
Common sense is so far from truth
Ignorance isn't 1 n 1 with youth
If we get hit
Let's patch the holes
Here we go and on we roll
Rising and traveling above the water
We stay cool while it gets hotter
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5. |
Nobody Knows
03:56
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Espionage
Data collection
Finding laws
For the system correction
Catlike claws
Whimpering deflection
Blood is drawn
In the public section
Mud slinging
Scowls and glares
Ears ringing
But nobody cares
Best interests are self-served
From personal buffets
Of emotions and nerves
Nobody knows what they're doing
Not even me
I am hypocrisy
Let's agree to disagree
Nobody knows how they ruin
Everything
Nobody knows what they're doing
Not even me
I am hypocrisy
Let's agree to disagree
Nobody cares how they ruin
Anything
For any reason at all
Let's throw poison tipped insults
Til one of us collapses
And wait to say sorry
Til somebody passes
Treat each other with respect
Until the casket's gone
Then back to being bitter
The show must go on
Find new enemies
New pin cushions
To keep smiling
Kicking and pushing
Nobody knows what they're doing
Not even me
I am hypocrisy
Let's agree to disagree
Nobody knows how they ruin
Everything
Nobody knows what they're doing
Not even me
I am hypocrisy
Let's agree to disagree
Nobody cares how they ruin
Anything
For any reason at all
Fake togetherness to weather the quick storm
Then back to being forlorn
Look at my side
My thorn is bigger than your thorn
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6. |
Waiting
03:57
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Waiting
Staring at the flames as it burns out
Hesitating
Holding hope by the threads of my thrift store couch
So much finger-pointing
All the self-anointing
"Chosen-one" and "Victim"
I keep disappointing
So I'll be disjointing
Retreating within
Jump on in let's fade away together
Riding the edge of waking and dreaming
Where the sun is always beaming
Into my mind
Where I can see forever
To the not-so-distant place
Where everything will be okay
Talking
Burning out the ears of the ones I love
Sitting
Instead of walking
Thinking answers fall from above
So much finger-pointing
All the self-anointing
"Chosen-one" and "Victim"
I keep disappointing
So I'll be disjointing
Retreating within
Jump on in let's fade away together
Riding the edge of waking and dreaming
Where the sun is always beaming
Into my mind
Where I can see forever
To the not-so-distant place
Where everything will be okay
More silence
More peace
More action
More good deed
Less need
Instantaneously free
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7. |
Until We Sleep
04:03
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This whole road
Paved by the untold
So keep on walking with me
Hold your soul
Ignore the gold and
Let's just go on and be
You and me
Both perfectly
Exactly who we are
Truth and dreams
Sewn joint by seems
Into one big star
Let's throw it in the sky then
Why would we go there
When we don't know where
Or what it is?
So let's not be so scared
Pretend we so so care
How we live
Let's just do it organically
Manically
Nothing to keep
Let's just move
Until we sleep
The story told
On blank pages controlled
Let's stop reading and write
Share ours souls
Forget the goals
And
Love every day and night
You and me
Both happily
Holding hand and hand
Truth is our dream
We join and beam
The brightest light in the land
Let's shine it in the sky then
Why would we go there
When we don't know where
Or what it is?
So let's not be so scared
Pretend we so so care
How we live
Let's just do it organically
Manically
Nothing to keep
Let's just move
Until we sleep
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8. |
||||
You're asking me to stay
But do you want me here?
You haven't made clear
You haven't
When I try to walk away
I'm overcome with fear
I can't hold back the tears
It's been so many years
You only seem to care
When I'm about to go
That's when you say you know
And you put on your show
We're going nowhere
In this in between
Standing on the seam
Either sew or let it bleed
This isn't love
It's an addiction
Attracted to the friction
Of the constant struggle
Seeing double
Blinded by lust
Thinking it must be true
But it's time I got over you
Just let me know
If you're for real
I can't keep playing games
It's all the same
And I can't feel
The way that I've been feeling
These days
Do you really want me to stay?
Or is it something you say?
You're telling me to stay
That everything's alright
When all we do is fight
Telling me not to walk away
But maybe I am right
I should hold on tight
You only seem to care
When I am feeling strong
Ready to move on
Singing a different song
I'm going somewhere
Away from in between
Where I can rip the seam
Til there's no more you and me
This isn't love
It's an addiction
Attracted to the friction
Of the constant struggle
Seeing double
Blinded by lust
Thinking it must be true
But it's time I got over you
Just let me know
If you're for real
I can't keep playing games
It's all the same
And I can't feel
The way that I've been feeling
These days
Do you really want me to stay?
Or is it something you say?
It's gonna hurt so bad
But it's only temporary
And I'm gonna be so sad
But I know that life will carry
Me on
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9. |
Dear Pain
04:13
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10. |
Unreal
04:10
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11. |
Nothing at All
03:29
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12. |
Carlye's Song
03:43
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13. |
No More (The Last Time)
03:06
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14. |
Overdue Goodbye
03:03
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15. |
||||
16. |
Nevermore
02:57
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17. |
To the One that Got Away
02:51
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18. |
Prove Me Wrong
03:20
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19. |
Ugly
02:25
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20. |
Britney Spears
03:09
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21. |
Tommy knox - Polar Bears
03:07
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22. |
Love of My Life
03:38
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